When we talk about leadership and parenting, are they worlds apart or are they fundamentally similar? I would argue that the contexts in which they apply are highly distinctive (obviously, leading a family differs vastly from leading an organization) but the underlying principles and qualities they build on are similar in many ways. This implies how the skills and capabilities for leadership are transferrable to parenting, and vice versa, as such the roles reinforce and fortify each other. In other words, the better a leader you are, the better a parent you can be; likewise, the better a parent you are, the better a leader you can be.
When Tom Peters asserts that "True leaders don't create more followers, they create more leaders", its applicability to parenting is inclusive here though may suggest that parenting is a (subset) form of leadership. However, only when we are able to look at parenting beyond the typical parent-child relationship that treats every individual as a sovereign being and extends the idea of parenting into our connection with our own inner child, conscious parenting skills becomes all-encompassing. Moreover, every leader was once a child, and whether they know or understand it in their adulthood, their inner child is still in them. In fact, it is the foremost ability of raising the inner child within that makes effective parents and leaders. While it is not a debate of which takes precedence in role superiority, it is clear that both leadership and parenting share several similarities, as follow.
It is a lifelong learning process. We inadvertently fail and fail a lot in our roles as leaders and parents. There will be some costly mistakes and various minor ones made along the way. Failures are never failures unless we miss learning the lessons from the experience. We let our failures inform and enhance the next endeavors in which we can consciously fail forward and fail better. We can seek and apply the required knowledge and yet, it is still largely a continual trial-and-error process. That is how we grow our humanity.
It is a team sport. To think leaders and parents will have all the answers is a busted myth. They do not operate independently and fly solo. The ultimate decisions or choices they come to must ideally be informed by hearing out and understanding the concerns from the people under their care. Such healthy and engaging demeanor will foster an even more connected, cooperative and supportive atmosphere or environment in which every member feels they matter and contributes as the moving parts of the entity.
Communication skills are crucial. I personally would emphasize more specifically on those required for critical conversations (when stakes are high), negotiation (for a win-win deal) and influencing skills (to make others change not because they must but because they want to). In all cases, these are highly important communication skills that not only increase the chance to getting the desired outcomes, but also continue to nurture the existing relationships in the process.
Exemplary role models. Leaders and parents are people whom their followers and children, respectively, look up to. They lead by examples. Their acts and behaviors are constantly observed, interpreted and learned from, consciously and subconsciously by people in their charge. So at the very core of leadership and parenting lies the need for the individual to consistently show up and always bring the best version of own self every step of the way. They walk the talk. Someone is always watching.
Integrated coaching stamina. Leaders and parents should say less and listen more. They know how to ask the right questions at the right time to reach for alternatives that lead to the best outcomes. Instead of telling more, they insist on "tell me more". They genuinely empathize and take the time to validate the feelings of others, and therefore, provide a safe place for others to be more transparent and vulnerable to open up about a situation or problem at hand. They refrain from offering solutions. Instead, they motivate and inspire others to see the greatness and evoke the confidence in them to find their own solutions.
No one is born an effective leader or parent, much less a conscious one. As much as leadership and parenting skills and qualities can be learned and honed, we must embody them as everyday lifestyles. To lead and parent consciously would mean to improve self-awareness - understanding who our true selves really are - in which intuitions and authenticity, the highest state of being, are borne.
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