A neighbour came by yesterday evening. I'd figured that she was here to collect her 4 boxes which were delivered but sought "refuge" at my place while the family went on a few-day vacation. They have been lying there near my front door for about two days and I was even thinking to knock on their door in the weekend to notify, just in case the delivery guy forgot to write a note for them. When I greeted her at the doorstep, she was all smiles and told me how kind it was for me to receive the package in their absence. Well, it did not occur to me that way that I was being kind by doing so - I just did because, first of all, it was really a simple gesture that cost me naught, secondly, I hope that my neighbour would do the same when I am away (you know, treat others the way you want to be treated) and above all, it was just the right thing to do. I might have helped the delivery guy saved time and increased his productivity, and saved fuel and served the environment a little good that day. These effects even though we cannot always witness, they matter. This is all part of how our world functions on basis of cause and effect. Who knows if he even won some time back by end of that day as such he was able to dine at the table with his family, just saying. That's the catch, we would not know and we do not need to know. Then I realized (more) that extending kindness to others is not hard to do and imagine how it makes the world a better place if everyone practices this.
I understand how by showing kindness, however small, does make a difference in people, more so that I have met some kindhearted souls along the journey. More recently, I have been wanting to print some papers at home but I was running out of both ink cartridges and A4 papers. Upon its delivery, it came in a medium-sized box which the delivery guy gently warned me that it was heavy, probably judging on my petite physique. I chuckled at my own assumptions, knowing that I have done heavier and tougher than these, that it was a piece of cake. After thanking him, as I was about to lean in to lift the box, he whom I thought was heading back to his vehicle, turned around with much hesitation and decided that he should help me with it at least passed the door threshold (despite the Corona regulations), so that I could skip the lifting part. He left with a smile and guess what, it was very heartwarming. I'd like to think that I have returned his kindness right there as well by just allowing him to be kind enough to assist. He was the total opposite of another delivery guy who once delivered the floorings to my new home back in January last year and left that whole big pile of mess (those were about 3 to 4 large-sized pallets with 40 packages of laminate floorings...) at the unfinished pavement in front of the house, under pouring rain. Even though they were wrapped in thick plastic, I had to get those floorings into shelter as soon as I could before they were soaked through and ruined. I remember asking him if he could just spend a few minutes and help me to heavy-lift those into the hallway because I was alone with my 4 year-old that evening. That would saved me a lot of energy to get them done before driving home again (to my former home) about another 45-minute drive, I explained. It was already 6.30pm then and, I was partly stressed and exhausted. He looked at me without flinching, told me point-blank that it was against his company policy and that there was nothing he could do for me. He apologized half-heartedly and left. Wow...now by thinking back, I could feel the utter contrast of the two worlds. I rolled up my sleeves that evening, and vowed to myself that I got that, summoned all my strength and got down to work. More amazingly, my little boy who was in part all fascinated and excited by what I was doing then exclaimed, "Mama, let me help you." Tired but joyfully, we were done within an hour or so. That guy, whose belief that his company policy stopped him from showing a kind gesture, had no idea how such silly idea of "company policy" is nothing more than a fear-based program that he bought into. For that, I learned to have compassion for him. That is sadly how our world has evolved into, complex web of man-made institutions, concepts, notions, ideas, views...otherwise termed "ignorance" in Buddha teaching, blinding us from our true nature. I am not suggesting "company policy" can be violated but at its core, policies must be built on goodwill that is meant to serve and not fear-inducing. Is it not that we are trying to advance the society and human race than be held back by our own constructions? On the flip side of that experience, he has somehow gifted me with the opportunity to push the envelop and (indirectly) helped me to realize the strength that I never knew existed within me.
If you have not watched "The Pursuit of Happyness" (wrong spelling as intended, by the way), suggest that you go catch it, which is currently on Netflix. I promise that it will be worth while and you will learn so much from it, if you pay attention to the essence of the story. It was based on a true story of a man called Christopher Gardner ('Chris' played by Will Smith), who found himself in seemingly bottomless pit of misfortunes ranging from his lacklustre career as a salesman, dire situation of running behind his rents, loss of car and home, broken relationship, shallow friendship, belittlement and betrayals. Yet, he has such grounded character and strong spirit that he fought through all the hardships with much grit and grace. In its depth, there were multiple layers of meaningful life lessons as takeaways: whether on survival, love, parenthood, divorce, trust, true friendship, decision-making, network and proximity, sales and marketing, resourcefulness, and of course, kindness - they were all beautifully interwoven into the story. There was one scene where he saw the cuckoo man running away with his somewhat valuable (one for about 200 some bucks that he and his son, Christopher (played by his real-life first-born, Jaden Smith) would be able to live by for another month or so) medical machine which he used to sell, but was mistaken as a time-machine. As he was about to chase him down, he was unexpectedly stopped by his boss from the stock-broker firm where he was doing his internship, asking for a small change to hire the cab. Unwillingly and almost perplexed, he pulled out his wallet containing his last dollars (he concocted up a façade as such no one in the firm actually knew about his life in turmoil) and before he could say more, his CEO boss grabbed it and left in a hurry. Little did he know that small gesture of kindness (although arguably not how he would have intended initially) later became one of the many contributing factors that eventually helped to shift his destiny. I found the perfect depiction of how an act of kindness goes a long way. Maya Angelou once said: "People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel". My guess is, Chris's boss must have felt the same heartwarming feeling in the cab that Chris was the kind of man that he needed to have in his organization. That's conscious leadership.
So what can kindness remind you of? Do you show kindness because it is your true nature or, do you demonstrate it only because of an outcome you want or expect? How about reminiscing some possible moments in time when you have received or been denied of kindness? How did that make you feel? Remember that we all originated from the same energy source and by that, however it made you feel certainly breed the same upon others. Knowing how much unkindness brings unease, how can we bear to perpetuate that further? Knowing how much kindness warms the heart and makes a difference to others, why would we hesitate even a bit to practice it? There is power in kindness and it is a precious gift that each and every one of us can afford to give every day. Even a smile to a stranger! Asking ourselves these questions can create awareness that activates our true nature based out of love, kindness and compassion. What can you do today to make a difference?
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