The Impatience Trap: 4 Key Points to Achieving Goals Without Fighting Nature's Flow

When you feel impatient, you wish things should go or be resolved faster than it can be according to the natural flow of things, which is partly driven by your own attitude and actions. It is a state of restlessness, irritability, or frustration that arises when you are unable or unwilling to tolerate delays, obstacles, or anything that hinders quick results or the immediate fulfillment of your desires or expectations - the instant gratification. In some cases, impatience can lead to negative consequences, such as increased stress, poor decision-making, and strained relationships, as you may act impulsively or become agitated when things do not go as quickly or smoothly as you would like. Impatience can manifest in various situations in our daily life such as being stuck in traffic, kids screaming and crying, awaiting health checkup results, waiting in the queue, or looking forward to that upcoming vacation.

Having recently completed a business project, I sat there reflecting on the months-long planning and execution, and I realized just how impatient I felt throughout the process. There were ups and downs, many long hours, countless bumps and a lot of mistakes and corrections within that period which prompted me to question if it was all worth it. My brain was crying, "So much to do, but so little time!" When doubts crept in, it felt easier to blame, judge and criticize myself, procrastinate, distract myself and sometimes even the thought of simply giving up. It was really uncomfortable yet I was not willing to compromise the quality of the delivered outcome. The battle inside was real and I started to ask myself, "Why do I feel the way I feel? What would be the real worth of it if I get this done now but it's totally crap? Can I allow myself to take it easy and enjoy the process? What if this IS the fastest road to get there? How certain am I that I'm not on the right track here?" Right there, was the shift I felt. It is true how questions are indeed answers, if you are spot on with them. But, I needed some deeper level explanation to sustain such confidence for future endeavours and here's what I gathered.

1. When you are impatiently going against the flow of nature, you are in resistance and what you resist tends to persist.

This means, what could ideally have taken you a relatively shorter amount of time to complete gets sabotaged by more unforeseen delays, unnecessary interruptions, and even the unattainable idea of perfection. The more you fight the tide, the harder the days would get, especially when self-loathing starts to take over. Your energy gets all messed up and all your frustrations ironically send the signal to the Universe that you want more of it! Before you know, your wish is granted in the vicious cycle of self-fulfilling prophecy. All it requires is for you to be aware of what is actually happening, know your outcome clearly, focus on the actions you must take to accomplish it - one step at a time, and let go of the rests. This reminds me of the sayings, "A quitter never wins, a winner never quits". It is the process that you so disciplinedly stick to that will lead you to results you want. Go slow if you want to go fast! The Universe will always show you what you need first before you can receive what you really want.

2. Impatience reminds you what's within your control (what you can do) and what's not (when you can just be).

According to the concept of dualism, there are two opposing and often complementary forces or aspects at play in the universe or within an individual's experience, for instance, yin and yang, light and darkness, attachment and non-attachment, or truth and deception. In this context, there are both the elements of 'doing' and 'being' in the process that must be considered to bring a balance. 'Doing' pertains to actions, behaviors, and external activities, which involves the things you do in the world, your interactions with others, and your accomplishments. It is often associated with productivity, achievement, and the external expression of your identity and values. 'Being' refers to a state of existence, the essence of who you are and relates to the idea of presence, equanimity, non-judgment, mindfulness, and self-awareness. When you are impatient, you are essentially more 'doing' than 'being'. You are in your head, and not in your heart. You are future-pacing but disregarding the present moment. You are always thinking about achieving end results or needing to address a "problem" you are facing, instead of accepting of what-is and giving it some space, which in that, could sometimes be where the solution comes from. That's because when you can simply be, you are more receptive to different perspectives in assessing, understanding and then solving the problem.

3. Impatience is ego's mischief which lacks humility but full of vanity.

When you are impatient, you want things to happen on your terms, regardless of external circumstances or the needs and perspectives of others. This impatience is closely tied to vanity, as it stems from a self-centered belief that your time is more important than others', your desires should take precedence and that the world should conform to your expectations. Vanity tends to prioritize immediate gratification and personal gain. This mindset can fuel impatience because you are reluctant to invest the time and effort required for a more elaborate and thoughtful approach. You want your desires to be fulfilled instantly, disregarding the potential longer-term benefits. When you approach situations with humility, you are more willing to wait, listen, adapt, learn and consider alternative perspectives, even if it means waiting for the right moment or solution. Humility allows you to acknowledge your limitations in finding an ideal solution alone or dictating the pace of events and helps you recognize that not everything revolves around your desires or timeframe. Remember, anything that comes from ego is an illusion that opposes everything you authentically are in your true essence.

4. Impatience has a time factor and patience has not.

The way Krishnamurti explains it, patience is nothing more than being in silence and learning, going from observations to observations without agreeing or drawing conclusions about anything, and being aware as though you have no choice. This is where calmness, compassion, abundance thinking, strength and wisdom spring from, that helps you to make wiser and better decision. I thought that was a beautiful and brilliant way to comprehend it. But if you are impatient, the time factor enters. In this world, everything unfolds in its own divine timing. When you rush, you are actually falling behind because your impatience is exactly what is stopping the results from coming sooner. Yet, the impatience you feel is all but temporary. It is not a lasting or permanent state of mind but rather a passing emotion or condition. It is like how clarity surfaces as soon as the the "mud" settles. Put it differently, patience actually trains you immensely in perseverance for better results. Just because you have not witness results yet, you must not underestimate the ongoing progress. Trust the process, knowing that what you want is already yours, it is happening now and it is there ready for you. The "win" is coming, don't let the "when" worry you.