Hush, observe and listen more. And through that, learn more.
It is called speech fast. It is simple, yet not easy.
All because we are so used to 'doing' things, instead of just 'being'.
Feel for a moment what stillness 'sounds' like.
Watch for a second what is happening around us.
The rise and fall of our chests as we breathe,
The crawling beetle on the ground,
The flickering flame of the candle,
The tall and strong waves hitting the shoreline,
The beautiful sight of white fluffy clouds,
The vastness of the dark starry nights.
Hear better and clearer how we put our own words out there.
Wonder a little more why we behave or react the way we do.
Understand deeper how our life experience is reflecting back to us the exact things that require changes.
“The music is not in the notes, but in the silence between.”
― Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
We often find ourselves already rehearsing in our heads what we intend to say next than to actually listen to what the other person is saying. As a result, we almost always miss half the things the other person is telling in the process and we fill the conversation gaps by making up our own stories. We then talk ourselves into believing the stories and convince ourselves that they represent all the facts, from which we draw conclusions - about someone or something. This belief, nothing more that what we repeat to ourselves over and over, will drive our behaviours and decisions we make. Ideally we could have gather all facts to validate our stories, if only we choose to just listen and say something only when asked or necessary. And this is how we usually perpetuate miscommunications, misunderstandings and quite often, life 'dramas'. Just this alone I believe, can make our world a better place.
In meetings where we realize everyone has something to say but us, we do not want to feel left out. We try to voice ourselves at opportune moments, not because we really have something valuable to suggest, but simply to prove that we are there in the room or that we contributed with some (empty) speech that makes us feel good about ourselves. That creates an even worse impression than actually not uttering a word, but our ego blinds us from seeing that. Imagine sitting in the waiting room where mobile phones are not allowed with a stranger sitting across the table, it may start to feel uncomfortable not having either one talking even just a bit to interrupt the quietness of the space. Now we wonder why we are enslaved by these modern devices that keep us distracted from such 'discomfort'.
As how the great Persian poet Rumi put it, "Listen to silence, it has a lot to say". Why silence has become a discomfort when it is the place that we must constantly return to? What a paradox! It is almost like we have to create all these chaos in life only to try to chart our path back to where it was supposed to be. Silence breeds awareness, and awareness is consciousness. To be conscious is to have the wisdom to finally see how our ego has been running the show and that we have not been living our truth and authentic selves. We have to start asking ourselves, in the midst of all our 'doings', where are we heading and if that we are after gives us the joy, peace and freedom that we ever so desire. We have to be brutally honest with ourselves and silence paves the way for us to finding the truth.
So how do we tune into silence more? First, we have to be okay with the initial discomfort it introduces and recognize that the so-called discomfort in itself is merely a feeling. This means, it arrives but it also leaves. We have to honor it by feeling the feeling of discomfort, without judging it. It just is. In fact, we can practice this with any other feelings and be the watcher of visitors coming and going. Secondly, talk less (or stop talking) and start to hear the loudness of the silence (yup, such oxymoron...) and witness the awe it brings forth. These will come in form of sounds that we do not normally pay much attention to and things that we are usually not even aware of. If we listen closely, we could probably now really hear the water boiling, the ticking of the clock or the cooing of the bird. If we look intently, we can almost always find something in the room we are in that we have not seen before, yet they have been there all along. In short, try to experience the difference just by fasting from words for a day. Watch how our awareness expands. Once we get more comfortable at this juncture, we can then transcend it to observing the thoughts we have. Where do these thoughts come from? What stories are we telling ourselves? Why do we build stories like that? Are they empowering stories or otherwise? Are they facts, or are they assumptions?
While the process can be all laid out this way, it is in the practicing of it where we must embody the virtue of patience. Every time we are near giving up, we are just an inch away from experiencing what life is ultimately about. Practicing 'silence' does not necessarily mean there is a destination to arrive at, but is only about the becoming of us in the process of it. And that is what we come to know as growth.
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