In this abundant life that is filled with ups and downs, we anticipate and revel in all its glories, and yet we are not always as ready to embrace the challenges or difficulties and take full responsibility to surmount them and elevate our soul. It requires strong mental and emotional resilience and maturity to understand that it does not mean to courageously own all mistakes and faults, yours or not, whether you like it or not (i.e. ignoring your feelings), to avoid conflicts or solve problems and move ahead. Taking 100% responsibility of what happens in our experience, including the unfavorable ones, suggests that there is a gem of wisdom somewhere within all flows and obstacles of life that you can seek and harvest in your quest for a joyful and fulfilling life. I can imagine how this idea will be met with cringe, doubts or resistance, so let's find out what taking 100% responsibility will look and sound like.
You have to first make peace with the fact that "it is what it is" - you see it for what it is and not worse than it is. For example, if you have an argument with a friend out of the blue, it means both of you didn't mutually agree on something, and not because he/she does not care for you as a friend or think that you are not smart enough to understand. The latter is simply the meaning you gave to it - so, instead of thinking that "she doesnt care at all", or "he thinks I am dumb", you will say "we have different views on this.". In a more extreme scenario, let's say your relationship fails and you went separate ways. Instead of going into the mode of, "she/he did ______ that caused _____", you will settle with "This relationship did not work out." Acceptance that things happen is an important and a beautiful start to taking full charge of your life. There is no acceptance yet when you continue to judge and justify how things ideally should have happened, latter expectations upon which pain and sufferings emerge and ensue. Simply put, it is a c' est la vie or come what may attitude as such you go with the flow and adapt flexibly as the moment arrives.
You must be willing to admit that you have a part to play or contribute, however small or big, indirect or direct, unconsciously or consciously, to your experience or the event that happened - even if you can't make sense or justify it. If you are somewhat thinking that this is a ludicrous proposition, it is not. Even better, you can't actually prove that either, regardless of which side of the camp you are at. It is exactly the same premise as how you would describe something as serendipitous or miraculous in your experience - you just can't explain it. Just as how it could start with you planting a seed of kindness for a stranger that eventually led to a beautiful experience you have had, you could utter something that unexpectedly irked, hurt or offended another that fueled for a negative outcome. But somewhere on the path leading up to that event, you amongst others, have individually shaped decisions and collectively manifested the experience, pleasant or unpleasant, in your awareness of it. It reveals to your consciousness of it as the time ripens or as you may have heard it as, 'in its own divine timing'. Every little act (or cause) will have its own effect, the extent of which none of us can cognitively decipher in a satisfying way. If you can accept the pleasant experiences, so must you be ready with their contrasts.
Focus on what you can do and channel your energy towards your locus of control. During the unexpected turn of events, it is expedient to look externally - people and/or circumstances - and justify our experience and how we feel about things in general. This could involve anger, self-loathing, blame, shame and fear, to some extent and everything in between considering all complexities. While there is nothing wrong with such reactions - in fact, we all do - it has more to do with how much inertia you unknowingly may have set yourself up, in this case. When you are pent up in such emotional states, it is harder to see beyond the pain and sufferings, and recognize their equivalent opportunities right before you. When you find yourself trapped in these disempowering emotional "homes" for too long, remind yourself that it might well be that you haven't fully acquainted yourself with the preceding ideas of accepting that you are right where you are and you can be more intentional in changing your experience to your favor. If you truly observe what happens with and all around you, you will realize that you aren't actually moving forward either if you choose to stay where you are and do nothing about it. Look closer, the choice is in your hands.
You choose to prioritize your growth and the lessons derived from the experience than to bathe in victimhood and wallow in self-pity for having to go through and deal with the situation. This may need to be preceded with the understanding that every experience you bear witness to has a hidden and virtuous purpose behind it for you. It works like a riddle, puzzle or mystery that you must decode in order to evolve as a human being - the better and improved version of you. You can even stretch yourself to believe that they are part of the "contract" you signed with the divinity before you were born onto Earth to explore this lifetime, despite the traceless memory. Unable yet to solve it may not be a fuss or suggest in anyway that you lack genius other than "you simply need more time" and "you are not ready just yet". It also means new twist of events will likely take place and present themselves in your experience as often as nature finds necessary or sees fit, until you finally grasp the meaning and truth that will set you free from all your pain and sufferings.
When you are taking 100% responsibility of your existence and experience, you actually feel grateful with you are right where you need to be and you look forward to everything that is to befall your experience, with curiosity, anticipation, and wonder. There will be an enveloping sense of equanimity around you to assure you that you will be fine as you boldly confront that which challenges your peace, joy and abundance, rise above the circumstances and navigate through them with intention and compassion. Above all, you understand how you are guided by your intuitions as you tune into your own inner wisdom. When you know how to exercise this power, you are taking charge of your life to live up to its fullest potential. There is no limit to who you can become - therefore, don't settle for anything less and keep stretching yourself. The best has yet to come.
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