Everything around us is ever changing, even right in this very second. Change is the only constant. Just because we cannot always sense it, nothing ever stays the same. It has been known that you are a wholly rebuilt person every 80 to 100 days, literally equivalent to having about 30 trillions cells replenished in the body! That certainly puts things into perspective. This week, an envelop which says "Do Not Bend" arrived through the home mailbox. Strangely enough, it was shortly after I was actually wondering about it. Talking about synchronicities! Inside it, were the recent school photos of my 7 year-old which I have ordered to print about a week ago. Carefully, I took them out of the envelop and stared at them for a moment. I could not help but think how much he has grown over the years! He no longer has the toddler look and instead a young little boy now. It is hardly difficult to judge by the kind of conversations I can have with him these days, although looking at photos seems to always got me right there with the thought that nothing is permanent. I kept asking myself, "Time really flies, did I miss anything?" Yet I realized, it was all but a pointless question.
There was a close friend of my dad's years ago whose family always traveled with us for holidays together who was a positive person and always fun to have around. One day, he was gone, just like that, due to heart attack. Same thing happened to one of my aunts in her early thirties then and her kids whom I last met who were either in pre-school or still in diapers, are now in college and workforce. While I lost my own dad to cancer seven years ago, my family and I have overcome the sadness and grief over what seemed like an unbelievably challenging period. As fragile as life is, it is all an inevitable part of lifecycle changes - like the trees naturally changing forms and colors every season. Then I realized, I am not even the same person today myself having gone through the different phases and changes in my life. When I was in the throes of divorce a couple of years ago, it felt to me as though the time has stopped - and as with many problems or uphill moments we face, they tend to create for us an illusion that our situations are permanent, even when the opposite is true. Fast forward today, I am in a so much better place, beyond what I could ever imagine when I was in that deep trench, wrestling with fear, anger, confusion and woes.
Whether any change happens naturally, expectedly or unexpectedly, for better or worse, every change happens for us and in our favor. This is a thinking paradigm that will likely be greeted with qualms and presumed insensitivity depending on the context under consideration, especially when the part which eventually makes sense to us is oftentimes revealed to us only when the time is ripe. By the way, if it is that effortless to grasp, we would not be feasted with the kinds of news that we hear or read about everyday. We would have been more loving, patient and compassionate with one another. For the fact these news existed is nothing more than an obvious demonstration on the different levels of consciousness we are at and a sign of how hard it is to even thinking of reconciling the differences among ourselves. Hence, this period of hanging on is sometimes a waiting game that we can either enjoy and anticipate, or doubt and be miserable. While we have no control over how things will unfold, we certainly do have control in choosing our attitude towards life every second of the day. After all, life happens for us, not to us - so...what is there to worry about? To worry, or even worse, to worry excessively is an implied belief that life is somehow working against you - that would be a tragic way of living!
Every moment is a moment that you have never been - which means, every moment is the best time to start anew and fresh, undoing the things that rob you from enjoying life as it is. My life is not anywhere perfect the way I would want it to be and hence it always leaves some spaces for my desires to roam free to match my willing pursuit. In this game of life, sometimes you lose some in order to win some and things always return to a balance. If you are freaked out by the duration it takes to come back to the balanced state, then you have missed the point and are likely to walk in circles. As this can only be thwarted by the illusion of time, we have forgotten that for a big part of it we are still the director of our own stage of performance.
Whether life is ‘hard’, ‘meaningful’, ‘wonderful’, ‘magical’, ‘depressing’ or ‘mundane’ - it all comes down to the hygiene and quality of our own inner workings. The way we carry our everyday attitude will prompt life to respond to us in the same manner. When life sprinkles moments of happiness, savor them while they last, because they can be transient. When life throws you a curveball, embrace the roller-coaster effect, knowing this too shall pass. That begs the question, how can we live more wisely knowing that everything - whether positive or negative as it appears in our experience - is only impermanent? Are we able to enjoy the good times a little more and suffer the challenging times a little less - while embracing and treasuring both for our evolution of consciousness?
Be Grateful and Never Take Things For Granted
The phrase 'the grass is always greener on the other side' is one all too familiar which signifies what we have and experience is constantly below par or never good enough. This prompts the faint hope of 'if only.....I'd be....' that keeps us living in a state of lack instead of abundance. It stimulates comparisons and competitions that are unnecessary and worrisome, wondering if we ever will 'reach the north star'. It also takes our attention off that which is right in front of us, fretting on 'life's unfair...why bother?' and hence escaping the present moment. In the midst of all that, we can be easily blindsided by the many moments in our life that are equally worthy of praise and admiration. What we witness is just a snapshot of events that can mislead us into believing it is all set to stone.
Everything that comes into your experience has an unexplained hidden purpose and what you make out of it is entirely up to you. Imagine having people on the other side of the fence believing you are in fact living what they have been dreaming of this whole time - wouldn't it be wise to take a pause and check in if you might have taken things for granted being right where you are? It would be unfortunate to look back one day realizing how much time has been wasted in chasing a mirage when you can ideally create miracles with all that you already have. This privilege is given to all of us and certainly something to be grateful for! Remember, whatever that you have or don't have, there is always someone out there better than or worse off than you. As everything is bound to change in this co-created reality, we are always switching places with one another, under different circumstances.
Stop Overthinking and Focus on Solution
Life without ups and downs will be arguably meaningless and boring, as there will be nothing for us to learn from and grow. Yet, when we are met by roadblocks ahead, it is easy to venture into overthinking the situation and generating more 'what-if' concerns for ourselves that prevent us from making a decision on an action to take. Do you know that we have about 50-70,000 thoughts crossing our minds each day, about 98% of them are thoughts from yesterday and with estimated 80% of them are negative thoughts? In a way, we are simply recycling unpleasant emotions triggered by the past experiences in the present day. No wonder it has been said that our body is none other than a heap of memories, with flexible room for imagination - which are basically the two wonderful faculties enabled for human beings, if we know how to use them to our advantage.
When we overthink or overanalyze things, we might realize it is endless since there are simply too many probabilities, never with a satisfying outcome and almost always heading in the direction of 'what could go wrong' in the mind's nature to help us survive. It's all overwhelming at best, and costing time and energy that could have been redirected to finding a solution. Focusing on solution means to decide on an action based on what you know enough then that takes you out of the limbo of overthinking. That decision may not be the best one yet but at least it gets you into action and to learn as early as possible what might work better next time. Mind you, it will feel uncomfortable and sound hasty sometimes but it is something that only you can define and give meaning to what is considered a "good enough" decision to keep moving forward.
Don't Cling Onto Anything or Anyone
In this life, people and things come and go all the time, and it is important not to feel attached to any of it. Notice I did not immediately suggest detachment because detachment only exists when attachment is involved. Non-attachment simply means to experience everything with a little distance, in awareness of them but essentially independent of them. This is another way of saying that we should always be ready to accept people for who they are and situation as it is. We don't actually own anything or anyone the way we believe they belong to us. It is in this peaceful acceptance that we are free from any pain and sufferings. Pain and sufferings show up in our life because of the stubborness in us to constantly fight against the as-is, for instance, wanting things to go our way and feel disappointed when it doesn't or trying to change others to meet our expectations and be greeted with lots of conflicts and resistance.
Obviously, this can sound easier said and done. In fact, on more practical terms, non-attachment does not imply to sit back and let life take its own course. You are the master of your own destiny. It is about committing to taking actions and doing the right things while surrendering to the outcomes that pan out under any circumstances. When the situation does not favor us, instead of blaming others and playing victim or holding a pity party, there is a will to look within ourselves for answers on how to change directions and create a different experience altogether. In the moment, it is also about asking ourselves, 'what do I need to do differently next time?'. Standing at a distance and observe that which you are experiencing allow you to disidentify yourself from the situation and make space for more clearer and constructive thinking towards an even better solution.
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I am sure that we have heard ad nauseam that life is too short and don't take everything so seriously. That's certainly something that have taken me decades to come to terms with! Acknowledging every moment of breath and waking up each day is a crucial reminder that we are still alive and therefore been given another chance to renew, do better and make the best of every second we have. Everything we get to do and experience is centered upon this basic function of breath, without which nothing else matters. When we are at our breaths, we are being present in the now where all opportunities reside. Everything is impermanent except your soul, so make sure to enjoy evolving in this lifetime while being in the human form that you are. In case you need to hear this again: You are a spiritual being having a human experience instead of a human being having a spiritual experience.
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