One morning, it was time to take the trash bin out to the street. It was a simple task but I dreaded it especially when the sky was gloomy and it was drizzling. I couldn’t think of anyone who might look forward to doing that under such weather. This is something that only happens every fortnight and this time, I had no excuse to skip because the bin was full. As much as I felt discouraged, I put on my jacket and off I went, dragged and positioned the bin on the curb as necessary. It was done, what a relief! I even loved the smell of the rain and the cool fresh air as I stepped outside. So, what were all those grievances about? Incidentally, it has been a few days since the task of ‘schedule dental check-up appointments’ sat on my random list. The more I stared at it, the more stressed I felt, reminding me how I couldn’t get through the line even after waiting for approximately 15 mins in my last attempt. I finally called as soon as I got home after dropping my son off at school and booked the appointments within 5 mins. Again, it was done, what a relief! As the two (fairly simple) tasks were scratched off my list, the overwhelm I felt also subsided by a fraction.
Honestly, it can probably be a full-time job just by following my thoughts around on things I need and want to do. Sometimes, I just couldn’t keep up with them. Yet, I’m also not the organized-to-do-list kind of person. When things come to mind, I would randomly scribble down somewhere in my notes and leave that page open on my desk, so that I don’t overlook the important ones. Other times, it’s just a quick note on my phone. You will later see organizing your list is only part of the steps, it is what you will do with the list you have that matters. It is about getting the right things done.
Now, let’s talk about how you can best deal with overwhelm:
1. Be aware of feeling overwhelmed.
First thing first, you have to be aware when overwhelm is surging, a state whereby you have a lot on your plate and you may be clueless just how you will ever sort things out. Unless you are aware of that which you need to deal with, you cannot actually solve it. You might feel slightly panicked, tightness in your chest, unable to focus and experience shallow breaths (Psychology Today 2021). Once you recognize being overwhelmed, you become the observer of the experience. You are not the overwhelm itself, so do not get identified with it. It is just you giving all those sensations you feel a proper label. The label helps you to befriend it and not be consumed by it.
Don’t even murmur to yourself or tell anyone, “Gosh, I am so overwhelmed!” because you are going to own it. When you own it, you imply that it is part of who you are when it is not. Remember, what you attach to the phrase “I am…”, you literally become (more of) it. It’s literally not the same as saying, “I feel so overwhelmed”. In the latter, you are keeping a distance between the observer (you) and the observed (the feeling). Instead, ground yourself back in the here and now by instantly drawing a few deep breaths, until you feel more centered, calmer and relaxed. Just move and feel your body since physiology changes your state immediately. Movements increase blood flow and oxygen intake for the brain, which can release various brain chemicals and proteins that improve cognition and mood. Tell yourself, you will figure it out and you always do. You are here today because you kept figuring things out and this time won’t be an exception either.
2. Clarity is the power that moves you forward.
Get clear on what exactly you feel overwhelmed with. It might be true that you have a laundry list of things to complete. But, determine if they are just a brain dump at the moment, composed of a mix of things that must be done and things that you simply want to explore. Here, it is the intention that matters. When you take a closer look at your list, you can easily identify those which you can get out your way in a relatively short amount of time (e.g. make a quick call, return a text, reply an email), those you can park or afford to delay for now (e.g. when you have time to spare), delegate to others or hire someone for (e.g. when someone else is more capable or has more capacity to do it than you) or even eliminate altogether (‘till we meet again’). This is how you optimize the list that may scare you at first but once you draw up a plan to approach it, overwhelm gradually dissipates. From here, you can see more clearly how you can possibly fit them right into your daily, weekly and monthly schedules as needed.
If you are a time management fanatic, consider using the Eisenhower’s Matrix framework to help you identify what is considered urgent and/or important and categorize them accordingly, you will still end up with a plan of getting things done. It is especially helpful whenever you find yourself stuck with, “So much to do but so little time.” Clarity is key, even though not everything is bound to go as planned. Start by ditching your idea of perfection and be flexible enough to navigate any changes ahead of you. A plan is handy and creates momentum, but don’t ever be too obsessed with it that you can’t pivot from it.
3. Focus and enjoy the process.
Sometimes, overwhelm is triggered from having the impatience of completing tasks faster than what they would normally be expected to get done. This is often for the sake of crossing them off your list and being done with. Before you know it, you simply make more space to fill the new ones in. There will always be things to do and certain things will take time if you want to avoid risks from compromising the quality of effort you put in today. Whenever you feel that you need to rush things, it is a sign that you are not present in the now. When that happens, your focus is shortchanged. Chances are you will be distracted and miss a few things as you go about with it, rendering only subpar results. The lackluster outcome usually entails more things to follow up later, and you fall for your own trap. Other times, you might even end up taking more time than you otherwise would need to complete the tasks, had you just taken it one step at a time. No wonder you constantly feel overwhelmed.
The emphasis here is to do the right things right while immersing yourself in it, giving your full attention and enjoying the process. Plus, time flies when you are having fun! It does not mean you don’t care about any deadlines when applicable, it’s about how you direct your focus within the available time frame and bring it to completion having given your best. This also assumes that you have wisely and assertively negotiated should (any other parties be involved) the viable time frame within which the work can ideally be finished. When you bring this attitude into every endeavor you have, you can easily keep overwhelm at bay.
4. Draw purpose from getting things done.
Here is an unconventional proposal to replace the thought of ‘overwhelm’ with ‘overjoy’. What an irony, how can I be overjoyed when I have to handle so much? When you recognize and remind yourself that you can only handle to a certain extent with the time and energy you have, it is the permission you give to yourself to feel overjoyed. Very simply, ‘overwhelm’ is a reminder for ‘overjoy’, just as ‘day’ is for ‘night’. The ‘overjoy’ stems from actually having the ability to get things done, celebrating the progress you make, and knowing whatever you do serves a purpose. If you give your best, something good will come out of it. Choose to experience ‘overjoy’ and not ‘overwhelm’. It’s a deliberate choice.
Even when the list of things include mundane household chores such as washing dishes, vacuuming the spaces, dusting off cupboards, or cleaning the windows, it is the meaning you give to these tasks that will make all the difference. This could be going from “I have to run around keeping everything in order” to “I am creating a clean, cozy and comfortable home for myself and family”. Similarly, when you need to file boring taxes or manage administrative work, you might cease complaining when you anchor in the fact that they will make your life less miserable when you follow through. Life is wonderful as you are peaceful - that’s a worthy cause. Same tasks, given a meaningful purpose, ring differently. All of a sudden, you realize, you ‘get to’ do them instead of you ‘have to’. Nothing beats having a purpose towards what you do everyday. There is no definite purpose to ‘find’ but the one that speaks to you. As your mind does not go there by default, it is up to you to discipline it so that it focuses on what truly matters. Always be prepared to answer, “Why do I do the things I do?”
____________________________
At the end of day, you can beat overwhelm without a shadow of a doubt. Notice how overwhelm is essentially how you manage your energy. Energy is your currency, make sure to invest it in contexts that truly deserve it. You don’t have to fight overwhelm as you have a clear strategy to deal with it. Never forget that what you resist, persists. If clarity is the power that moves you forward, how you do it lies in the power of choice. There are two options: You can choose to read this and do nothing with it, or, you give the recommendations a try and see what happens. By the way, the latter also means you have chosen to stick with overwhelm and wait it out instead of being proactive about it.
コメント