Emotional intelligence (EI, used here forth) has known to be popularized by Daniel Goleman through his groundbreaking research and strategies on how we can creatively manage our own emotions, better understand how to shift the tone and employ them in a favourable manner. EI is a critical skill, sine qua non for both personal and professional success. Most companies today are more keen to hire individuals with high EI who tend to be collaborative, adaptive to the culture of diversity, able to effectively handle stress and crucial conversations to reach desired outcomes, above their intellectual capacity and technical competences. These are undoubtedly some key criteria to breed and foster innovation at the heart of organizations to accelerate and prosper in a competitive marketplace.
Demonstrating an acute sense of EI has been found to be fundamentally what most effective, outstanding leaders have in common and plays an increasingly important role in the highest levels of organizations to navigate permutations of emotional deficiencies at the workplace. After all, leadership is not about hierarchical domination and authority, but the ability to influence others to bring about their best selves and contribute to a shared goal of the organization. EI enables that through attunement to feelings of those we deal with, ability to handle disagreements before they escalate, and pivoting into the right state of being to produce the best results. EI is a continuous evolutionary process. Given the guidelines and constant practice, EI skills can be learned and developed. So, let's explore what the core components of EI are.
I. Personal Competences
Self-Awareness
Understand what is going on inside of us, is the first step - this includes what triggers it, what sensations emerge, can we name the emotion, where in the body it is strongly felt, and why does it show up. This is also called the 'emotional literacy'. Self-awareness is the ability to accurately perceive our own emotions in the moment and understand our propensities to either react or respond across contexts or situations. This can be done by regularly giving space to ourselves and reflecting on our emotions to figure out the meaning behind and the purpose they serve. A high degree of self-awareness allows us to capture the cynical, negative or hostile thoughts as they arise and process them in a healthy way to prevent emotional spirals and the unraveling of any unfavorable episodes. That said, we have to also be willing to sit and tolerate with the discomfort of it all instead of avoiding it. As a result, we become remarkably clear and honest about what makes us tick, able to put our strengths to work, pursue the right opportunities, maximize our potentials and not letting our emotions hold us back.
Self-Regulation / Self-Management
Once we are emotional literate, we tend to be flexible and able to get our emotions under control so that we will direct our behaviors in line with bigger, important goals and higher values. As a key component of EI, self-regulation is likened to the ongoing uplifting inner conversation that liberates us from being imprisoned by our emotions and channel them in useful ways instead. Leaders who are able to harness their impulses and emotions are capable of enabling a productive environment of trust and fairness, which carries a trickle-down effect across their organizations and creates or enhances organizational strength. In a business setting that is usually rife with competitions, uncertainties and ambiguities, self-regulated people will be less likely to panic and are more readily to listen, seek out information, suspend judgements, and more motivated to go along with various changes introduced in the organization. They are tireless, passionate and eager to try new things and explore new approach to doing things better.
II. Interpersonal Competences
Social-Awareness
Social awareness is the ability to perceive how others may feel or think and like having the antenna to pick up emotional cues from others to understand what could possibly be going on with them. It is therefore not surprising that being present with empathy is a critical step in social awareness as we focus more on others, actively listen to what they say, make regular eye contact, acknowledge their perspectives instead of being overly engaged with our own monologues in our heads. To lead with empathy does not entail people-pleasing by adopting everyone else's emotion as one's own (which is disastrous and complex, to say the least), but thoughtfully consider the feelings or viewpoints of others by putting ourselves in others' shoes, focus on the shared pool of meaning and common grounds to intelligently craft informed decisions and create win-win scenarios. It continues to gain higher importance as organizations today have to utilize a lot of teamwork, adapt to rapid pace of globalization and the growing need to retain talents.
Relationship Management
People who astutely manage their relationships well will be able to see the positives in connecting with others, even with those they do not seem to get along with, or, are not very fond of, or, frequently challenged by. Solid, admirable relationships are the results of how we understand others, how we treat them and the history shared together. Therefore, relationship management as a function of quality, depth and time spent, concerns the bonds we build over time with others and often will tap into the 3 aforementioned components - self-awareness, self-regulations and social awareness - to manage our interactions successfully with clear communications and effective conflict resolutions. Leaders who intentionally manage their relationships are able to vividly articulate a compelling vision, exert influence and inspire the mass into required actions toward a shared mission. They show genuine interests in the growth and developments of others, as change catalysts in the organization in the face of crisis, and know the right appeal to build buy-ins from key stakeholders with a reliable network of support for an initiative. This is why it is said: Proximity is power.
EI is generally more art than science. The more we commit to practicing it, the more we will get better at it. Repetition is the mother of all skills. As we consciously learn and cultivate EI in our everyday life, our brain neurons will keep firing and wiring its neural pathways as such it forms a habit, our second nature and eventually, we become it.
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