In conjunction with Thanksgiving day this week (although more recognized as that in U.S. and Canada), it certainly feels more relevant than usual to discuss the act of gratitude in this post. Personally, it almost always reminds me that the year is soon drawing its curtain, and another year would have gone by! While we should ideally make a habit out of practicing gratitude everyday, I wonder if we also take interest to dig deeper into its meaning and understand why it is recommended as such, instead of doing simply by accepting the idea of it and for the goodness it nourishes us with. When we cultivate deeper understanding behind everything that we do, we assign better meaning to the act with greater intention, by which the outcome is then determined. The act of gratitude can prove to be challenging especially at times like this, when many are experiencing fear, grief of loss and isolation, yet at the same time, it can be the very same path towards healing and compassion for those who choose to open their hearts.
Shelton (2004) in his chapter Gratitude - Considerations from a Moral Perspective (compiled under the book "The Psychology of Gratitude"), defined gratitude in its fullest sense, as an inner depth and a way of being, which orient us to an acknowledged dependence, out of which flows positive emotions, profound humility and a sense of being gifted. From the psychology perspective, we experience and interpret life situations in ways that call forth from us a radical openness to, receptivity of, and engagement with, the world through purposeful actions, to share and enhance the very good we have received. The intrinsic function of gratitude guides us to approach the world by embracing it, nourishing it and transforming it. It can be portrayed in forms of a mere "thank you" to a way of living where the inherent experience lies in its capacity rooted in the individual and attached to it an end state that can be strived for, yet not fully attainable.
Steindl-Rast in chapter Gratitude as Thankfulness and as Gratefulness (ibid.) asserts that what usually evokes gratitude is the sense of undeservedly receiving objects of celebration (whether a thing (e.g. a present), a person (e.g. a newborn), an event (e.g. a wedding), an activity (e.g. mountain hike), or even a bodily state (e.g. healthy state)) which otherwise when received out of rights, defies that special flavor of undeserved, or gratis (free of charge), as also indicated in the word stem 'grati' of 'gratitude'. Thankfulness is an action in the social realm, commonly associated with personal gratitude that translates into thank-you's expressed to the giver, by the gift receiver. Gratefulness however is a state, juxtaposed as transpersonal gratitude that belongs in the inner realm with a self-contained dynamism that blurs the roles of giver, gift and receiver, and offers the experience of universal wholeness.
Gratitude has profound contributions to mental well-being, reducing stress levels and promotes higher life satisfaction, wisdom and a lower risk for psychiatric disorders. When we see ourselves as the beneficiary of other people's generosity, it may allow us to feel valued, loved and supported. In return, we are motivated to be more prosocial to the benefactor or unrelated third party (through enduring friendship and social bonds) and this creates the reciprocal altruism that would further develop into social resources that we could draw on in the future when facing hardship. However, the benefits of gratitude are less harvested under the condition of high ambivalence over emotional expression, due to cognitive bias in interpreting social interactions and incongruent behaviors. They are known as the boundary conditions of gratitude (*ref.). Ambivalent people tend to read too much into emotion even in simple emotional situations, which leads them to mistrust the expressions of others. They may may adapt ineffective coping strategies to deal with stress, such as distancing themselves emotionally from the situation or blaming themselves or others. They also tend to be less capable of accurately interpret the situation and may not respond appropriately even when they are grateful, for instance, receiving support from others while not feeling satisfied with it. These facets of ambivalence over emotional expression seem to lead ambivalent people to be more lonely, depressed, and unhappy.
In much earlier days, I used to think to myself that how gratitude sounds rather Pollyannaish. But until I actually take the time and consciously perform the act of gratitude to everything in my life, anytime of the day, that I start to reap the benefits of it on my overall well-being and world view. If I could be grateful for the three key events this year, it would be my new life in a new city, the turning point of my career and all like-minded wonderful and supportive people I came to meet. And the best part is how all these wrapped together a precious gift of presence allowing me to show up differently for my loved ones and as a human on earth in this lifetime.
At this very moment, what are you most grateful for? 🙏
*Source: Chen, L. H., Chen, Y., and Tsai, Y. (2012). "Does gratitude always work? Ambivalence over emotional expression inhibits the beneficial effect of gratitude on well‐being." International Journal of Psychology, 47: 381-392.
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